The Power of the Written Word (Day 19 - Hope Against Hope)

This journal was given to me by a dear friend at my baby shower hurriedly planned before I entered the hospital.  This was one of many gifts I received.  Why after all these years did I keep the love note atop the journal?

Of course, I didn't realize the utter significance of what I would write for years to come.  But I must have known I needed to soak in everything.  Every single detail.

I've always loved journaling to get my thoughts on paper.  My prayers.  My fears. Anything on my heart I felt led to write.

I began writing on 6/10/08.  I thanked God for giving us the desire of our heart.  I dedicated my writing to Him.  My prayer has always been that God would be glorified through our lives, through our marriage.  We never quite know how our prayers will be answered.

As I reread the words I wrote eight years ago, "I glory in this tribulation, not because I enjoy pain or hardship, but I know my character is being built and my faith increased in God."  I went on to write how I wanted anyone who read this to experience the depth of God's love.  How honored I was to share this testimony.  

At this time, I only knew there was a possibility my child would not survive.  Yet, I still believed God for a miracle.  

If you've been following along this 31 Day series, you know my daughter, Reese Madison did not survive.  

I shared a video in another post of a young woman who had just recently lost her husband.  I marveled at her strength after experiencing such a tragedy just a few days prior.  It could only be because of God's grace to exude such virtue and hope in a dreadful situation.  In this video, she shared how blessed she was, even in her husband's death and how God was using it to draw her even closer to Him.

Eight years later, I am writing a series on "Hope Against Hope" because I am still hoping, still believing in a God that makes ALL things possible.  Even death.  It has taken me years to accept my daughter's death, to not feel like I was being punished, that God had forgotten about us or chose to turn His ear away from our prayers.  

These words, hope against hope were written in my journal back in 2008.  I wanted then to imitate the great example of Abraham's faith.  This is still my desire.  

Don't judge my handwriting! :-)

Do you know friends the enemy will try any and everything to get us from hoping in our Lord? When life happens, he wants our troubles to keep us from praying, from studying God's word, from hoping.

Over the years, I have wavered in my faith.  I have questioned God.  I have questioned His will for my life. I have lost hope.

It is never too late to recover what has been lost.  We have a cloud of witnesses cheering us on in faith, in hope, in Christ.

There is much to grasp as I've studied hope.  As I've grown in Christ.  As I too understand what it feels like when the odds are against you.

Stay with me and we'll get through this together.  Feel free to comment below.

This is Day 19 of a 31 day series of “Hope Against Hope”. To read all of the posts in this series, click here. To read what several other bloggers are writing for the month of October, click here

This is Day 12 of a 31 day series of “Hope Against Hope”. To read all of the posts in this series, click here. To read what several other bloggers are writing for the month of October, click here