Thursday, October 15, 2015

I Choose to Break the Silence (Day 15 - Hope Against Hope)

Reese Madison's Hand and Foot Prints
Those teeny tiny hands and feet belong to my daughter, Reese Madison.  This is one of the most precious memories I have of her.

Although her time on earth lasted only two days, this is something I'll treasure for a lifetime.  

Family had been with us around the clock from the time Reese Madison was born until the night before she died.

My husband and I were alone at the time of her death.  We like to think she only wanted her parents there.  Looking back, it was a moment we'll always cherish.

After she passed, our family came rushing back to the hospital.  Our pastors came to encourage and pray for us.

When death is present, so are those very dear and closest to you.  They're present to mourn with you and offer their condolences.  They're present to meet any needs. They are present so you are not alone.

I feared being alone.  I feared going home.  More and more, I wanted to escape this reality whenever I allowed myself to feel.  To grieve.

How could I leave the hospital empty handed?

What would I do with all of those gifts?

When I learned I would be admitted into the hospital until giving birth, my mom and sister quickly planned a baby shower at our home.  We were so blessed with the thoughtfulness of our guests bringing gifts on such short notice.  Our living room was full of gifts, mostly unisex since we didn't yet know the sex of the baby.

Things happened so quickly.  Were those baby shower gifts still in our living room?

These thoughts were crowded out by the company of others.  I needed their support.

It briefly shifted my focus.

Soon I would be released from the hospital.  I would have to face the reality of being a mother of a child who many would never know existed.  Some would soon forget.

Although she's no longer here, she is forever in my heart.

Photo Credit by Mothers of Unborn Angels
Today, October 15th is Infant Loss Awareness Day.

I wasn't aware of this day.  It is so God for me to discover this today as I too have been breaking my silence and telling the world of my child.

We are at the mid-point of the 31 Day challenge and I'm so thankful to have made it thus far!

I hope you'll continue reading.  I'd love to hear from you.

This is Day 15 of a 31 day series of “Hope Against Hope”. To read all of the posts in this series, click here. To read what several other bloggers are writing for the month of October, click here


  1. What a previous memory you have of her little hands and feet. You have the ability to be a voice for heaven's babies. Thank you for sharing her life.

    1. Aren't those little hands and feet precious? I'll cherish this forever! I count it a privilege to be a voice for these babies, to honor their lives. Thank you for reading.