Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Rest for the Weary is Sometimes Required (Day 14 - Hope Against Hope)

I'm using this image again today because I love it for my baby girl!

These past few posts have been heavy.  I have cried as I wrote our story.   I've shared about my pregnancy, the birth of our baby girl, Reese Madison and then lastly her death.

There is so much more I desire to share.

I think in the next post, I will share how this topic "Hope Against Hope" came to be. These words have been etched in my heart for quite some time, since 2008 to be exact.

But right now friends, I need a break.  I've felt overwhelmed as vivid images replayed in my mind. Images I haven't seen in years.

Images of my sweet baby girl opening her eyes to look at me only to close them all to soon.

I saw the image of me holding her until she breathed her last breath.

My favorite image is the tears rolling down my husband's cheeks as the doctor told us she was a girl.

Questions often fill my mind to wonder if I could have, should have done anything differently.

Then I have to acknowledge that everything happened exactly as it was supposed to happen.

There were days, months even after our baby girl died that I sobbed uncontrollably.  I had gotten to the point over the years that only certain things or events triggered the tears.

But writing my story has been different.  It has sparked such a depth of emotion.  Partly because I'm so grateful God is allowing me to tell my story.  He is in the story.  I can feel His presence as I write. At times, He has told me very clearly what to say, other times He is silently cheering me along to continue.

And I will continue dear friends.  But tonight, I need rest.  Thank you for grace.  Thank you for walking this journey along with me.

This is Day 14 of a 31 day series of “Hope Against Hope”. To read all of the posts in this series, click here. To read what several other bloggers are writing for the month of October, click here


  1. Take all the time you need my friend. Hugs!

    1. Thanks so much Barbie! I needed that hug. :-)

  2. It's amazing how in the midst of our pain, God brings forth beauty.

    1. Will!!! I'm so happy you were able to comment! I love this and it so true. Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate it more than you know!

  3. I opened a google account just for you. I guess somewhere deep, deep, down there's love for you. Lol

  4. Beautiful! I'm usually not a cryer but, these last blogs have me in tears and in awe by your courage and strength that you display. God bless you sister.

    1. Anna I'm so happy and grateful you are reading! Thanks so much Sis for your encouragement. Love you dearly!